The Pattern of Marriage
Matthew 13:34-35
34 Jesus spoke all these things to the crowd in parables; he did not say anything to them without using a parable.
35 So was fulfilled what was spoken through the prophet: "I will open my mouth in parables, I will utter things hidden since the creation of the world."
(NIV)
The prophet spoken of here was the author of Psalm 78. We must pay careful attention to the words of the prophet: hidden since the creation of the world. These mysteries, these hidden truths, pertain to events that transpired and patterns that were established at the creation of the world. Why did God create man? Paul gives us a glimpse into the mystery of the reason for creation in
Eph 5:31-32
31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."
32 This is a profound mystery-- but I am talking about Christ and the church.
(NIV)
Here we see God using a pattern to reveal a mystery – something he does frequently. The story of Moses and God’s anger at his failure to properly portray the pattern of the Rock should instruct us that God wants us to carefully study and implement his patterns. Indeed, the LORD himself instructed Moses on the importance of following his patterns.
Exodus 25:9
9 Make this tabernacle and all its furnishings exactly like the pattern I will show you.
(NIV)
Paul said the pattern that reveals the mystery of eternal relationships is the pattern God established for the marriage of a man and a woman, the pattern given to us at the very beginning of creation.
In Gen 2:18-24
18 The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
19 Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name.
20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found.
21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh.
22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
23 The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man."
24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
(NIV)
Paul said the mystery of Christ and his church is revealed in this pattern of man and woman. So what can we learn? Why was the woman created? For only one reason – to help the man. Paul talks about this plainly in
1 Cor 11:8-9
8 For man did not come from woman, but woman from man;
9 neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.
(NIV)
In accordance with the pattern, God created the race of mankind primarily for one reason; to provide a bride for his son, Jesus Christ. In Genesis 1:27 we read that God created man in his own image. Man is the only creature with an eternal soul, with the intellectual capability to interact with God of his own free will. And just as woman was created to complete the man, to be his soulmate, his bride, so mankind was created to have this kind of relationship with Christ. In fact, when we look at the prophecies of the end of this world as we know it, what do we find?
In Rev 19:5-9 we read
5 Then a voice came from the throne, saying: "Praise our God, all you his servants, you who fear him, both small and great!"
6 Then I heard what sounded like a great multitude, like the roar of rushing waters and like loud peals of thunder, shouting: "Hallelujah! For our Lord God Almighty reigns.
7 Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready.
8 Fine linen, bright and clean, was given her to wear." (Fine linen stands for the righteous acts of the saints.)
9 Then the angel said to me, "Write: 'Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!'" And he added, "These are the true words of God."
(NIV)
What is the grand finale of creation? What is the purpose of life and the universe? The true words of God say it all boils down to this: ‘Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!” The heavens, the earth, the animals, nature – all of the physical environment that we know and love -- was created solely for the preparation, training and development of a bride for the Lamb of God, Jesus Christ. And just like the temporary forms for pouring a concrete wall are torn down and destroyed once the wall is completed, so this world and everything in it will be destroyed once God has completed the forming of his bride.
In light of this, I believe that marriage was designed by God to be a living example and testimony of his eternal purpose; a daily reminder, a precious glimpse into the relationship between Christ and his church. Should we then not make every effort to follow the pattern as closely as we can? Is this not part of our public testimony to the world – to be ambassadors for Christ? As ambassadors, we follow the customs of our home country, even though living in a foreign land. Let us search the scriptures and see if we can discover the customs of the Kingdom of God as they would relate to marriage.
****************
#1 Who is responsible for finding a bride for the son?
Gen 2:22
22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
(NIV)
John 6:44
44 "No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him, and I will raise him up at the last day.
(NIV)
John 17:6
6 "I have revealed you to those whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me and they have obeyed your word.
(NIV)
Gen 24:1-4
1 Abraham was now old and well advanced in years, and the LORD had blessed him in every way.
2 He said to the chief servant in his household, the one in charge of all that he had, "Put your hand under my thigh.
3 I want you to swear by the LORD, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I am living,
4 but will go to my country and my own relatives and get a wife for my son Isaac."
(NIV)
Judg 14:1-2,10
1 Samson went down to Timnah and saw there a young Philistine woman.
2 When he returned, he said to his father and mother, "I have seen a Philistine woman in Timnah; now get her for me as my wife."
10 Now his father went down to see the woman. And Samson made a feast there, as was customary for bridegrooms.
(NIV)
Jeremiah 29:6
6 Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease.
(NIV)
#2 Once the negotiations are completed and the bride has accepted the proposal of the groom, what is the first legally binding step in the marriage process?
2 Cor 11:2
2 For I am jealous for you with godly jealousy. For I have betrothed you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ.
(NKJ)
Deut 22:22-24,28-29
22 "If a man is found lying with a woman married to a husband, then both of them shall die-- the man that lay with the woman, and the woman; so you shall put away the evil from Israel.
23 "If a young woman who is a virgin is betrothed to a husband, and a man finds her in the city and lies with her,
24 "then you shall bring them both out to the gate of that city, and you shall stone them to death with stones, the young woman because she did not cry out in the city, and the man because he humbled his neighbor's wife; so you shall put away the evil from among you.
28 "If a man finds a young woman who is a virgin, who is not betrothed, and he seizes her and lies with her, and they are found out,
29 "then the man who lay with her shall give to the young woman's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife because he has humbled her; he shall not be permitted to divorce her all his days.
(NKJ)
Matt 1:18-19
18 Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child of the Holy Spirit;
19 and her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly.
(RSV)
#3 If the betrothal period is symbolic of the time period between when we accept Christ’s proposal and the actual wedding, what are some things that should take place at the betrothal?
Gen 34:12
12 "Ask me ever so much dowry and gift, and I will give according to what you say to me; but give me the young woman as a wife."
(NKJ)
Deut 22:29
29 he shall pay the girl's father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the girl, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives.
(NIV)
1 Cor 11:25
25 In the same manner He also took the cup after supper, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in My blood. This do, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me."
(NKJ)
#4 What is to take place between the betrothal and the marriage feast?
John 14:2-3
2 In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you.
3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.
(NIV)
Phil 3:7-8
7 But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ.
8 What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ
(NIV)
#5 What is the Scriptural way to conduct a wedding feast?
1Thes 4:16-17
16 For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first.
17 After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.
(NIV)
Matt 24:36
36 "No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.
(NIV)
Gen 24:67
67 Isaac brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah, and he married Rebekah. So she became his wife, and he loved her; and Isaac was comforted after his mother's death.
(NIV)
#6 To what lengths do we want to go to publicly show this example to the world?
Matt 10:32
32 "Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven.
(NIV)
John 18:20
20 "I have spoken openly to the world," Jesus replied. "I always taught in synagogues or at the temple, where all the Jews come together. I said nothing in secret.
(NIV)