Deut 11:18-19
18 Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on
your hands and bind them on your foreheads.
19 Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and
when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.(NIV)
Notice how God expects you to teach your children. When you get up in the morning, and when you lay down at night, when you’re at home, and when you’re out and about. All day, every day; that is God’s way. This is a description of homeschooling. For at it’s best, homeschooling is more than simply having school at home. It is a completely different lifestyle than that led by most families in our culture today, a lifestyle of continual growth and learning, as parents and children work together, play together, worship together, and serve others together. The key here is the word “together.”
Prov 13:20
20 He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.(NIV)
Companionship is the key to imparting wisdom, understanding, and knowledge. Consider something for a moment. Jesus Christ came to earth to establish a Kingdom. At the start of his earthly ministry, he needed to select and train leaders to carry on the work of the Kingdom after his departure. So how did he do it? Did he start a school? No! Did he write a training manual? No! Surely he must have founded a seminary to train his ministers. No, the greatest teacher who ever lived did not use the teaching methods so highly esteemed by worldly minds today. Rather, Jesus chose 12 men, looked them in the eye, and said, “Follow me.” Walk with me. Talk with me. Observe how I deal with situations and solve problems. BE MY COMPANIONS.
Later on, two of his students, Peter and John, were brought before the Sanhedrin court to defend themselves against certain accusations.
Acts 4:13
13 When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled,
ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been
with Jesus. (NIV)
Companionship with Jesus is what prepared these men for leadership. For he who walks with the wise grows wise. If parents today made their children their daily companions, we would see a return to the kind of maturity displayed by American youth of the previous century, when home education was the norm. So many parents in our culture today interact with their children as if they were a hobby, or a pet. They try to spend a little “quality” time with them each day, and then send them on their way. All the while they have this nagging feeling that they really ought to spend more time with their kids. But that is not true. As noted author and lecturer Gregg Harris says, “Parents do not need to spend more time with their children; children need to spend more time with their parents.” There is a difference -- a BIG difference!
When parents try to spend more time with their children, they usually wind up at Disney World, or a ball game, or at the beach. The children are still just a hobby. However, when parents begin to include their children in their everyday lives, then something begins to change. Education becomes a continual process, as our children learn, both from us and with us, during the course of doing the important things of daily life. What a tremendous advantage a child is given when he has a wise and loving parent for a daily companion!
So, let us assume that you have decided that you want to become a companion of your children. Unfortunately, it is going to take more than a simple desire to make it happen. We are all creatures of habit, and the ways in which we interact with our children are governed by the habits we have developed over the years. As Charlotte Mason said, “A habit is ten natures,” meaning that a habit is ten times more powerful than our natural tendencies. Your level of success will be determined by how effective you are at exchanging your bad habits for good ones. Let us look at three important areas where good habits need to be cultivated by the parent who wants to be able to teach his children informally through companionship.
#1. You must develop a continual awareness of your goals for the education of your child.
Jesus Christ was adept at taking the events and circumstances of every day life and using them to teach important principles to his students. Whether it was telling fishermen that they would be fishing for men, or observing a widow put a small coin in the treasury, Jesus took every opportunity to use normal, routine situations to teach valuable lessons. You can do the same thing, by daily focusing on your educational goals. By maintaining awareness of what you want to teach, you can spot opportunities to draw conclusions and teach concepts from the events of the day.
One very important routine activity that provides opportunity to teach your children is travel. Deuteronomy chapter 11 says “Teach ... your children ... when you walk along the road ... Most of us no longer do much walking along the road, but during a normal week we do quite a bit of driving! By taking our children with us to all the places we need to go, and keeping our goals in mind, we can turn driving time into quality teaching time. Some of the most productive one-on-one discussions I have had with my son have been when we were in the car together.
#2. You must learn to respond to your children’s questions in an appropriate manner.
Unless discouraged, most children have a natural curiosity about everything around them. This curiosity translates into questions -- dozens, hundreds, zillions of questions! It usually does not take very long for a new parent to learn to “tune out” the constant chatter of their very young children. At each age level, we need to examine our response to our children’s questions. It is important to teach our young children self-control. But as they mature, our responses to them should mature as well. Our children need to know that if they have a reasonable question, they can expect a reasonable response from us. As our children approach adolescence, we may find it beneficial to actually lead them into discussions that will draw out their questions. The very best time to impart knowledge to someone is when he is motivated to learn. A question is a key indicator of motivation!
#3 You must continually seek for ways to empower your children through learning experiences.
In its’ simplest form, empowerment is helping your child to learn by doing, rather than simply throwing facts at him. There are two, time-tested learning models that focus on empowerment, and there is much to be learned by examining them. They are apprenticeships and internships.
An apprenticeship provides the student with real-life opportunities to perform tasks based on new knowledge. An apprentice observes the master craftsman in his work, and then is gradually allowed to actually do the work, with the coaching and supervision of the master. The apprenticeship method is a very effective means of learning, to a large extent because of the level of involvement by the student in the learning process. He uses his mind, his eyes, his ears, his hands -- he is totally immersed in the learning experience.
An internship grants to the student a measure of authority to function and make decisions, while providing the supervision necessary to shield him from the full force of the responsibility for those decisions. An intern usually is more advanced than an apprentice in having mastered the knowledge and skills necessary to perform his job. Nevertheless, because of his inexperience, he is not expected to possess the wisdom and judgment needed to accept full responsibility for his actions. And so he works under the authority of others. Although he may have a lot of leeway in the performance of his duties, his decisions are monitored and approved by those with more experience, who can hopefully keep him from making costly errors in judgment.
By careful consideration and prayer, parents can use the principles of apprenticeships and internships to empower their children by providing them with real-life opportunities to apply knowledge to specific tasks.
In conclusion, this brief article can only hope to introduce you to the concept
of using the power of companionship in the training of your children. It is
not an easy thing to convert to this kind of lifestyle. But the benefits over
a lifetime are enormous. And just as important as the changes to be realized
in your children, are the changes that will take place in your own heart and
life. To successfully teach through companionship, you will need to take on
the same characteristics that Jesus Christ displayed in the training of his
disciples -- characteristics that will change your life forever!
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By Bret Smith, President of The Homeschool Advantage. For information on scheduling
Bret to speak for your conference or other event, contact The Homeschool Advantage
at 678-570-2195.